The 73rd Golden Globe Awards

Zachary Cruz-Tan

These award shows have almost become a mockery of themselves, haven’t they? Year in, year out, hundreds of the most over-privileged celebrities stride through ornate doorways, draped in Versace this and Louis Vuitton that, sporting tuxedos of tremendous panache, and always a pseudo-respectable smile of elegant grace, as if the world owes them their preposterous salaries.

This year’s Golden Globes prolongs this attitude towards the show by tugging British comedian Ricky Gervais by the scruff of his neck back into the hosting spotlight and allowing him, it would seem, to write in as many lewd and underhanded jokes as he wants. Whether you admire Mr. Gervais or not, you have to at least admit that he, like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, fits the mould of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association like a gloriously rank, slightly ill-fitting glove. And he is hilarious in the part.

His opening monologue alone made me laugh more than The Martian. “Shush”, says he. “Shut up, you disgusting, pill-popping, sexual deviant scum. I want to do this monologue, and then go into hiding”. From then on it was a slew of stabs and whimsical slashes at the film industry, its employees, and the ridiculousness of the entire event (“Remember that if you do win tonight, no one cares about that award as much as you do”). Is he crude? Of course! No one attends or tunes in to a ceremony hosted by Gervais expecting to be serenaded with nursery rhymes.

As for the awards themselves, well, what can I say? As an ardent student of film, and a mindless masochistic slave of glamorous reality television, I arrived at the show with my own briefcase of the names and movie titles I had hoped would pull away with the wins. It was a rather perplexing experience, however, because most of the material up for nomination has yet to be screened in cinemas across Australia, so I found myself rooting for familiar faces while pulling the “gracious loser” smile at the movies I hadn’t yet seen.

I was quite delighted to see the stalwart George Miller up there for Best Director, and Sly Stallone creeping back into the programme with his nomination for Best Supporting Actor for Creed. I thought the Cecile B. DeMille award presentation to Denzel Washington, led by Tom Hanks, was eloquently moving, and Washington’s subsequent speech malfunction to be the humorous encapsulation of all that these sorts of shows have become about.

Some presenters killed it – America Ferrera and Eva Longoria in particular. Others botched very hard – Jonah Hill should keep that cheap teddy bear hood in case he ever wants to step outside his house. The results, while completely out of my hands, were perhaps less than satisfactory.

Among the deserved winners were Pixar’s Inside Out for Best Animated Feature, and Leonardo DiCaprio for his exhausting appearance in The Revenant. Mad Max: Fury Road, while not being a real threat to win Best Motion Picture, should have graced George Miller with the directing trophy, being, after all, the truest director’s film of the year (the award went to Alejandro Iñarritu instead).

It was great to see Stallone win again, as it was to see Kate Winslet walk away with a smile. The Revenant won the biggest prize of the night, and while the world might swoon at her feet, I’m personally lethargic at the sight of J-Law walking up those steps yet again.

I’ve neglected the TV department somewhat, because I haven’t seen a solid 98.6% of the nominees, but Mr. Robot and Mozart In The Jungle nabbed the highest honours.

Alas, another Golden Globes is at an end, and, with the exception of Mel Gibson looking perpetually spooked to be in front of a crowd, it is not unlike every other Golden Globes that has come before. Gervais entertained me. I sporadically hurled chairs at the screen. Tarantino deepened his grave. And while I’ve made myself sound very unprepared to tackle this event, I must concede that no amount of research would have made it any less self-indulgent. I would’ve loved for Fury Road to have won Best Picture, but as a notable critic tweeted, the Golden Globes are completely irrevenant when it comes to predicting the Oscars.

The Full List Of Film Winners

Best Motion Picture – Drama
The Revenant

Best Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
The Martian

Best Director
Alejandro G. Iñarritu, The Revenant

Best Screenplay
Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs

Best Performance In A Motion Picture – Drama
Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant
Actress: Brie Larson, Room

Best Performance In A Motion Picture – Comedy or Musical
Actor: Matt Damon, The Martian
Actress: Jennifer Lawrence, Joy

Best Supporting Performance In A Motion Picture
Actor: Sylvester Stallone, Creed
Actress: Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs

Best Original Score
Ennio Morricone, The Hateful Eight

Best Original Song
“Writing’s On The Wall” by Sam Smith, Spectre

Best Animated Feature Film
Inside Out

Best Foreign Language Film
Son Of Saul (Hungary)

Images courtesy of Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures 


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