Movie Review – The Dark Tower

Nikolaj Arcel’s rehash of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series is a load of mishandled hogwash.

⭐
Rhys Graeme-Drury

From The Shining and Carrie to The Green Mile and The Shawshank Redemption, Stephen King’s library of novels and stories has served as the basis for a whole range of excellent cinema over the years. Until now, his self-ascribed magnum opus, The Dark Tower series – a sprawling eight-book saga that melds dark fantasy, science fiction and Western into one potent melting pot – has gone unadapted, largely because it is so large in scope and deep in lore.

The solution concocted by its quartet of screenwriters and director Nikolaj Arcel is to strip the series back to its basics. You’ve got a gunslinger named Roland (Idris Elba), the last in a long line of Arthurian guardians defending the titular tower, and a magical sorcerer called Walter (Matthew McConaughey), who seeks to destroy the tower and rule over the resultant chaos with Machiavellian glee. Tying them together is a young boy from Earth called Jake (Tom Taylor), who sees visions of the tower crumbling and sets out to help Roland on his quest.

Rather than formulating a straightforward adaptation of the first book, Arcel’s film acts more as a remix of the entire series as it borrows elements and ideas before mixing them together into a trim 90-minute film. And while this approach could work in theory, the reality is that Sony has somehow taken one of the most beloved fantasy book series’ of all time and cobbled together a boring, bland and generic action-adventure film that belongs at the bottom of the bargain bin.

Given its rich pedigree, The Dark Tower is bafflingly immaterial; the world, its characters and their conflicts aren’t explained or explored even in the slightest. We’re told that Jake is the key to protecting the tower, but not why. We’re told Walter wants to destroy the tower, but not why. We’re told Roland is impervious to Walter’s magic, but not why. The script is so busy trying to compress King’s ideas into the trim runtime that is doesn’t stop to answer silly questions like why, how, who and what the actual fuck is going on. It’s akin to pressing all seven Harry Potter novels into one film where the only characters are Harry, Dumbledore and Voldemort.

I would say The Dark Tower is so bad it belongs on TV, but in an era where shows like Game of Thrones, Westworld and Outlander consistently showcase how quality fantasy can be done on the small screen, that analogy simply doesn’t hold up. All told, The Dark Tower is banal and derivative to a degree scarcely believable; maybe it would have worked as an HBO or Starz series, but in its current form it’s just an inert glob of nothing that rates up there with the worst of the year.

The Dark Tower is available in Australian cinemas from August 17 

Image courtesy of Sony Pictures

Movie Review – Gold

The man behind the McConaissance makes his most monstrous transformation yet – but is it enough to make Gold glimmer?

⭐ ⭐ ⭐
Corey Hogan

In the 1980s, down-on-his-luck businessman Kenny Wells (Matthew McConaughey) throws the last of his money into a partnership with geologist Michael Acosta (Edgar Ramirez) to dig for gold in the uncharted jungles of Borneo. The jungle is indeed a goldmine, and Kenny soon finds himself skyrocketing to the top; envisioning a big future for himself and his girlfriend Kay (Bryce Dallas Howard). Being at the top isn’t as golden as it seems though; as years pass and the empire grows, a whole manner of complications threaten to send everything unravelling.

Gold left me wondering; have we reached the end of the McConaissance? The once unbearable king of crappy rom-coms turned Oscar winner and Hollywood’s most exciting character actor appears to, quite disappointingly, be on his way to putting out the fire he ignited across the screen just a few short years ago. The dreadfully dull The Sea of Trees was the first stumble, followed by the similarly plodding Free State of Jones, and if Stephen Gaghan’s Gold isn’t quite strike three, it does come awfully close to toppling over the actor’s dramatic career.

There is of course a strong argument to be made against this; McConaughey still happens to be the best part of each of these films. And Gold sees him back in fully transformative, awards baiting action. Physically, businessman Kenny Wells is McConaughey at his most unattractive yet – the mere sight of the formerly hunky dude sporting a giant gut, balding mullet, protruding crooked teeth, and sweating while he knocks back glasses of whiskey and chainsmokes is a shock, worthy of something in between a laugh, gasp and awe. His commitment to the role is remarkable, but Kenny’s characterisation by writers Patrick Massett and John Zinman is a little questionable.

The pair don’t seem quite sure how exactly to paint Kenny, so the ugly exterior of the man often ends up contradicting the man himself. Kenny does have his ugly moments; drunkenly fighting with Kay, putting riches before her needs and getting into shouting matches with the people who try to buy him out. But he isn’t a man entirely consumed by greed; he flicks inconsistently and erratically between doing anything for a glittering nugget to making sacrifices for his girlfriend and their future, and never involves himself in the dirty scams happening right under his nose. Kenny’s mismatched nature could be due to the amount of alcohol clouding his vision, but he just isn’t a compelling a protagonist (or anti-hero?).

In fact, the film itself is so obviously trying to imitate the success of films like The Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle and The Big Short; borrowing so heavily from each that it rarely manages to do its own thing. It’s a shame too to have Stephen Gaghan – the man who once gave us eye-opening films like Traffic and Syriana – return to directing after more than a decade and deliver something far too dramatized and too loosely based on real-life CEO David Walsh’s exploits. It all feels like an Oscar bid, but ironically, it lacks that golden polish.

Though it has all been done better before, McConaughey saves Gold from bereavement and does make it somewhat entertaining, even with the story fighting him at every turn. Let’s just hope he starts choosing his scripts a little better.

Gold is available in Australian cinemas from February 2

Image courtesy of Studiocanal 

Movie Review – Free State of Jones

Creaky pacing and an overlong final act unravel an otherwise haunting and daring untold tale from the American Civil War.

⭐ ⭐ ½
Rhys Graeme-Drury

Gary Ross’ Free State of Jones is the film equivalent of those mouldy, old history textbooks that lurk at the back of schoolroom closets. Buried deep in those dusty, dog-eared pages are captivating tales of heroic figures and world-changing events. But, also filling those pages are acres and acres of long-winded text that’d put even the most troubled insomniac to sleep.

The film concerns itself with a largely untold true story from the American Civil War of a disillusioned Confederate field doctor, Newton Knight (Matthew McConaughey), who flees the frontlines following a crushing defeat against the Union. Under the thumb of a corrupt local government, Newton assembles a ragtag group of fellow deserters and runaway slaves. Striking from a dank swamp deep in the Mississippi, Newton’s rebel soldiers lead an uprising against the Confederacy, with the aim of declaring themselves a free and independent state following the war.

McConaughey does his utmost to bring gravitas to the weighty material, but he faces an uphill battle with the script. 60% of his scenes are either rousing speeches or sombre eulogies, with the other 40% being unintelligible mumbles swimming in his trademark Southern drawl. It’s easy to side with Newton’s noble cause, but hard to feel for him as he is not much more than a crude sketch that stepped out of the aforementioned history book.

Spanning several years, Free State of Jones commits to charting all of the noteworthy milestones in Newton’s fight against the Confederacy. This means that the other people around him fall by wayside. His wife, Serena (Keri Russell), disappears for the vast majority of the film without a second thought, and we’re only told about Newton’s flourishing feelings for Rachel (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), rather than having the chance to see it develop naturally on screen. Mahershala Ali’s former slave Moses could’ve been a compelling second-in-command, but he’s underutilised and too often forgotten about during the second act.

The cast, crew and all involved have the noblest of intentions; they’ve clearly poured their heart and soul into delivering a film that showcases the moral complexities of war as well as the harsh truths of race relations in the wake of the Civil War and in the proceeding century. There are some astoundingly powerful character moments that pack a hefty punch, as well as committed, nuanced performances from the sprawling ensemble cast – Mbatha-Raw and Ali are notable standouts.

Its stilted management of an otherwise absorbing, little known story is too detrimental to ignore. With a narrower focus and a tighter edit, maybe it’d be a different story – but unfortunately Free State of Jones too closely resembles one of those movies you’re forced to watch in high school history class to be truly captivating.

Free State of Jones is available in Australian cinemas from August 25

Image courtesy of StudioCanal

Drinking Game for “Romantic” Movies

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Rhys Graeme-Drury & Corey Hogan 

For the bitter, the scorned and the plain old cynical; we’re here to provide you with some reprieve from the sentimentality and sickly sweetness of this annual day of commercial love. So how will we make this Valentine’s Day just a little bit bearable? Well, it starts with wine, or your drink of choice, and a derisive celebration of all the ridiculous clichés we’ve come to see in almost every romance film ever made. So gather your fellow non-romantics, and get ready for some serious eye-rolling and alcohol-sculling, as you take part in Hooked On Film’s Valentine’s Day drinking game.

THE RULES

Drink if… There is a funny or awkward first-time sex scene. Finish your drink if it’s passionate and romantic, or “perfect”

See: Don Jon

There’s nothing quite like the first time, is there? When lovelorn characters bump uglies for the first time it can go one of two ways – either with an awkward hilarity, or with intimate, romantic perfection. Don Jon contains an example of both – Jon’s (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) first sexual encounter with Scarlett Johansson’s blonde bimbo involves a lot of uncoordinated rubbing against and an early finish, in contrast to the affectionate love-making with Julianne Moore’s older classmate; someone he feels an emotional connection with.

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Drink if… The lead character is involved in a hideously cheesy meet-cute. Twice if it’s in a coffee shop/book store/park.

See: The Holiday

We’ve all been there haven’t we? After arriving at the quaint Surrey cottage where you plan to spend a solitary Christmas season away from civilisation, it’s only to be expected that the ridiculously hunky brother of the landlord shows up out of the blue and that, naturally, he’ll be played by Jude Law. What, that hasn’t happened to you?

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Drink if… The protagonist is involved in a makeover or outfit change montage.

See: Crazy Stupid Love

The makeover montage has been a romcom staple since the dawn of time. From Pretty Woman to Clueless, movie makeovers have been telling us that love only comes looking for you once you slap on a fresh outfit and get a new hair-do.

A great example comes from Dan Fogelman’s charming ensemble piece Crazy Stupid Love; the situation here sees Steve Carell play a middle-aged dweeb looking to rediscover his manhood with the help of Jacob (Ryan Gosling), a self-assured womaniser.

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Drink if… The male protagonist removes his shirt. Twice if it’s Matthew McConaughey.

See: any Matthew McConaughey film predating The Lincoln Lawyer

Believe it or not, there was a time when Oscar winner Matthew McConaughey was renowned for something other than having AIDS (Dallas Buyers Club) and plummeting into a black hole (Interstellar). The year was 2009, and the superstar was coming off the back of a string of cheesy romantic comedies, usually co-starring alongside Kate Hudson; Fool’s Gold, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Surfer Dude, Failure to Launch, How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days, The Wedding Planner… you name it, McConaughey was in it and he was frequently sans shirt.

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Drink if… Some ridiculous tragedy suddenly breaks out for the sake of extra drama

See: Any Nicholas Sparks adaptation

Every film based on a Nicholas Sparks novel, from The Notebook to Dear John to The Longest Ride, contains increasingly outlandish and contrived tragedies shoehorned into the story to keep our lovers from their happily ever after, be it Alzheimer’s, PTSD, lymphoma, a car accident, a shoot-out or death in the armed services. Perhaps most ludicrous is the Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth vehicle The Last Song; when things are going too well for the couple, Miley’s dad (Greg Kinnear) reveals out of the blue that he has been suffering with cancer for a long time, then promptly dies a few scenes later.

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Drink if… Something or someone causes a significant rift in the relationship, and the characters part ways – temporarily of course!

See: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

This moment inevitably happens in just about every romantic movie, though particularly disastrous in FSM as Peter (Jason Segal), who has finally moved on from ex Sarah (Kristen Bell), is seduced into back into lewd sexual acts with her, thanks to a convenient change of mind. Honourably confessing this to his new flame Rachel (Mila Kunis), she nonetheless calls it quits with Peter. You can bet your bottom dollar they’ll be back together before the credits roll though…

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Drink if… A couple kiss or profess their love in the middle of a rainstorm. Add a bonus shot if it’s at night or in New York.

See: About Time

The cute twist in this delightful Richard Curtis film is that it’s the day of Tim (Domnhall Gleeson) and Mary’s (Rachel McAdams) wedding and the smitten duo gets absolutely drenched mere minutes after walking down the aisle. It’s a nice refrain from the maligned and often parodied soaking midnight smooch that we’ve seen time and again.

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Drink if… The protagonist receives painfully obvious relationship advice from their sassy best friend or the token minority character

See: Friends With Benefits


If you’ve seen Friends With Benefits, you’ll know that the highlight in an otherwise unremarkable raunchy rom-com is Woody Harrelson’s riotous turn as Justin Timberlake’s gay best friend, Tommy. That being said, Harrelson’s sage relationship advice on how guys and girls can never be just friends could be copied word for word into any other romcom and no one would know the difference.

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Drink if… One of the character’s exes re-enters their life at a poorly-timed moment.

See: Blue Valentine.

Often, just when everything is going swimmingly for our romantic leads, an unsavoury ex-flame suddenly reappears, either provoking conflicted feelings in their old lover or simply causing trouble for the new relationship. In Blue Valentine it’s the latter, as Cindy (Michelle Williams) runs into her ex-boyfriend Bobby, with whom husband Dean (Ryan Gosling) violently fought five years earlier.

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Finish your drink if… A character stops their lover from leaving at the airport.

See: Love, Actually

Just in time! When a love interest is about to board a plane and escape our protagonist’s life forever, it seems the most romantic thing they can do is to chase after them and stop them in their tracks, professing their love and convincing them to stay. The most glaringly obvious one is in rom-com magnum opus Love, Actually; wherein Sam (Thomas Sangster) evades airport security to reach his American crush Joanna (Olivia Olsen) and express his feelings, with help from his very understanding dad (Liam Neeson).

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Images courtesy of Roadshow Films, United International Pictures, Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures, Universal Pictures, Sony Pictures & Palace Films 

Movie Review – Interstellar. 4 Stars

Matthew McConaughey and Anne Hathaway are explosive on screen together in this epic science fiction/action thriller.

Review by Chantal Victor

Written and directed by Christopher Nolan, Interstellar is exactly what you would expect from the man who brought us the likes of Inception (2010) and Memento (2000). The story follows a group of travellers who go on a journey through a wormhole in space, in search of another planet to inhabit, as earth becomes an unsafe environment. The team is led by Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) and Amelia (Anne Hathaway) who are guided by Professor Brand (Michael Cain), and are challenged by the differences in time and gravity between our solar system, and the one they discover.

Where do I start? When I first realised I had to go and watch Interstellar, I wasn’t as thrilled as most viewers would be. I am not a fan of The Dark Knight, and I am always sceptical when I hear there is a new Christopher Nolan film in cinemas; purely because I feel at times he sells out to the public, and only gives people what they want to see. Yes, his films sells tickets, and the general public love his films, but I don’t feel that he ever pushes the envelope in terms of his filmmaking.

Interstellar happens to be a perfect balance between all my ideas of Nolan. There were hero-like characters that go on a journey to save the world, which everyone likes to see. For the female audience members, there is a love story with a twist following the sacrifices between a father and a daughter, and for the men there is an amazing adventure through the unknown world of space and time with spaceships and gadgets.

I didn’t care too much for the beginning or the ending. I know characters need time to be developed, and maybe it helps the audience to care more if many scenes are dedicated solely to this purpose, but I do feel these parts of the film could have been tightened up. In the first act I kept waiting for the space travel to start, and at times I felt that information was being spoon fed to me, as if I were too stupid to understand what was happening, however, the middle of the film was fantastic. I was taken on an emotional rollercoaster; I could feel the excitement as the travels started, the joy when something finally worked, the sadness of the characters being alone, and the fear of anything going wrong in their mission. The second act of Interstellar is really intense, and has an amazing way of explaining many of the fantastical elements and plot twists in the film, which I found very fulfilling, but then the final act took far too long to end. After going through so much with the characters I felt like I was done. It’s like when you go to a full buffet dinner, and you finish with dessert; you feel like you can’t have anymore, and then you go ahead and have that last glass of water. Just pushing it too far.

The only aspect I was looking forward to was seeing another performance by my screen crush Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyer’s Club, True Detective). He is a phenomenal actor who has really stepped up to the plate lately, and shown the world what he can do. It was difficult to believe McConaughey in the role of the parent of a young daughter as we are used to seeing him in romantic comedy roles in earlier years, and serious adult dramas in recent times. He simply lacks the traits of a fatherly figure. Once he began to share the screen with Anne Hathaway, however, he started to show the sort of prowess we have become used to seeing in his more recent works. Anne Hathaway (Princess Diaries, The Dark Knight Rises) is also making her own way, and proving herself to be a serious performer, and she especially does so in Interstellar. She portrayed her character extremely well; she manages to show strength without overpowering any of the men in the film, despite being the only woman on screen at times. McConaughey and Hathaway’s emotional performances were touching, and very much needed because they created a form of realism to some of the situations that otherwise felt so out of reach for the average viewer.

To my surprise, I found this film to be highly entertaining due to the fact that it combines thought provoking storylines, similar to Nolan’s Memento, with a thrilling space adventure like in Alfonso Cuaron’s Gravity. The film contains some great performances, and kept me on the edge of my seat for the most part. I have to deduct a star on account of the lag that occurred in the beginning and the end of the film, but overall I am still giving Interstellar 4 stars as I truly enjoyed it.

Top 5 Ashley Judd Films

Ashley Judd has had a varied career and has never really reached the heights of critical acclaim, but she has certainly been involved in some fantastic films.

In celebration of Ashley Judd’s birthday on April 19, and the recent release of Divergent, in which she plays a supporting role, I have decided to compile a list of her top 5 films. Audiences will most likely know Ashley Judd for her recent television series Missing and probably remember her for romantic comedies and political thrillers in the 90s, but she got her start on Star Trek: The Next Generation in 1991. Ms Judd has had a varied career and has never really reached the heights of critical acclaim, but she has certainly been involved in some fantastic films. If you haven’t already seen these films, you have to check them out!

1. Heat.
1995. Written and Directed by Michael Mann.
Starring: Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Danny Trejo and Ashley Judd

Ashley Judd plays a powerful, supporting role as Charlene Shiherlis, the headstrong wife of professional criminal Chris Shiherlis (Val Kilmer). As you would expect from this all-star cast, this film is sensational. Thrilling to the end, this action/crime drama is one of my all-time favourite films. The performances are absolutely captivating and the writing is outstanding. This is one of Ashley Judd’s earliest films and it is a definite MUST SEE.

 

2. Crossing Over
2009. Written and Directed by Wayne Kramer
Starring: Harrison Ford, Cliff Curtis, Jim Sturgess, Ashley Judd and Ray Liotta

A confronting and extremely eye-opening film, Crossing Over tells the story of several immigrants who are all striving toward a common goal; to achieve legal status in Los Angeles. Through a variety of perspectives and interconnected storylines the film reveals the shocking flaws in the US immigration system. Ashley Judd plays a lawyer who represents a teenage girl from Bangladesh after she is accused of being a terrorist. This film is filled with emotionally raw performances from both the major stars and the lesser-known talents. Harrison Ford is particularly impressive, as is New Zealand actor Cliff Curtis. South African director Wayne Kramer previously made a 50 minute version of this film in 1996, so this subject matter must be very close to his heart. You need to make sure you are in the right mood to watch this film as it is very intense and deals with highly sensitive issues, but it is a film that everyone needs to see.

 

3. A Time To Kill
1996. Directed by Joel Schumaker
Starring: Matthew McConaughey, Samuel L Jackson, Sandra Bullock, Kevin Spacey, Donald Sutherland, Keifer Sutherland and Ashley Judd.

Based on the novel by John Grisham, A Time To Kill follows Carl Lee Hailey (Samuel L Jackson), an African American man seeking justice for the rape of his 10 year old daughter in Mississippi. The film focuses on Mr Hailey’s trial after he murders the two white men responsible for harming his daughter. A very young Matthew McConaughey defends Hailey in court and Ashley Judd plays McConaughey’s wife.

Sometimes an impressive ensemble cast such as this can backfire against expectations and produce a disappointing result. That is most certainly not the case with this film. Yes, the film is extremely dated; the score in particular is very 90s. The script is also a little staggered at times (we have Akiva Goldsman to thank for that. The man who adapted Winter’s Tale), but looking past that, this is an excellent film. Every single performance is outstanding and the film takes you on an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. It is truly the modern day To Kill A Mockingbird.

 

4. Double Jeopardy
1999. Directed by Bruce Beresford
Starring: Ashley Judd, Tommy Lee Jones and Bruce Greenwood

This crime thriller is based around the legal concept of “double jeopardy” which states that no one can serve time for the same crime more than once. So when Libby (Ashley Judd) is framed for the murder of her husband (Bruce Greenwood) and spends several years in prison only to discover that her man is actually alive and well, there is nothing that can stop her from hunting him down and killing him. Well, except for maybe her parole officer (Tommy Lee Jones). You may think this is tired subject matter; a woman on a quest for revenge, but I assure you, this film is riveting. The dynamic between Judd and Jones is fantastic to watch, as is the fierce determination shown by Ashley Judd as Libby.

 

5. Frida
2002. Directed by Julie Taymor
Starring: Salma Hayek, Alfred Molina, Ashley Judd, Antonio Banderas, Edward Norton and Geoffrey Rush

Nominated for 6 Academy Awards, this is the heart-breaking true story of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo (Salma Hayek), her lover Diego Rivera (Alfred Molina) and their experiences with revolutionaries, infidelity and Frida’s crippling injuries. Ashley Judd, Antonio Banderas, Edward Norton and Geoffrey Rush all play relatively small roles in the film, but Ashley Judd must be commended on her impeccable Spanish accent. The music and the production design in this film is stunning, but at times it is difficult to watch Salma Hayek as she sports a thick, ugly mono brow. Unfortunately this was the signature look for the real artist. Despite her unattractive look, Salma Hayek is very convincing in this film.

Another biopic featuring Ashley Judd is De-Lovely in which she stars opposite Kevin Kline. The film takes a unique approach to expressing the lives of Cole and Linda Porter, although I’m not sure that I personally liked this style. It is sort of similar to the latest version of Anna Karenina where it blurs the lines between film and theatre, but oddly enough I really liked this technique in Anna Karenina. Overall the film is a lovely tribute to the lives of the Porter’s and their music.

Images courtesy of Warner Bros, Miramax, Paramount Pictures & The Weinstein Company